The final book in the Amazon series, "The Wizard and the Amazon", will be published on Amazon on 30th June 2017 and is now available for pre-order. The first couple of dozen pages are posted here (see the menu above).

New characters include Legion (a dead troll with a split personality), the Scone Wizard (a wizard adept at both spells and baking bread products) and Fanny Fishcakes (an aspiring actress).

This is the book in which the fates of Rod, Takina and Halfshaft and finally decided, as they take on the Warlock one last time. Hope you enjoy it!

The next book in the Amazons series will be published on Amazon on 18th August 2016. "The Actress, the Witch and the Amazon" will feature all the usual characters including Halfshaft, Rod and Takina, along with Alfie, Cherry and Thane. It also introduces some brand new characters, including the Lady Garden, Beowulf and Grendel, and Jemal from Badgergoogoo.

   My new e-book, "The English Refugee: The Day It Happened Here", is out on Christmas Day 2015 on Amazon.
  It asks the question "what would it be like if the refugee crisis happened here; what if we were the ones trying to flee abroad to stay alive?"
  It follows an eight year old boy and his family as they desperately try to make it to a massive camp at Sangatte, which has been set up to receive the very limited number of British refugees the French Government will allow into the country. 

Warlocks and Amazons is now available for pre-order on Amazon. the publication date is Sunday 28th June. The book description reads:

"The fourth and almost final book of the "Amazons" humorous fantasy series, by Jonathan Pidduck.

The further trials and tribulations of Halfshaft (failed wizard), Rod (successful alcoholic) and Takina (an Amazon even more voluptuous than usual) as they battle their bewildered way through a fresh host of hazards.

Having been sent back a thousand years into the past, their mission is to summon Harold, King of the Saxons, to ensure that an all-conquering Warlock is imprisoned inside the Black Mountains as Fate has decreed. Unfortunately, Fate may well have picked the wrong trio for the task.

Despite the best efforts of the mini-SHEs and their flame of eternal youth, the tiny giants and their umbrage at anyone taller than themselves, Osiris the rampant dark-elf and an entirely unexpected pregnancy, the three defy the odds and move one step at a time towards their goal of saving the world from Evil.

But will the man who awaits them at the Battle of Hastings prove to be one challenge too many?

Another generous helping of bawdy fantasy fun and frolics from the author of "Slave-girls and Amazons" and "The Halfshaft Games"."

All contents of this website (including opening chapters) are copyright of Jonathan Pidduck

  JONATHAN PIDDUCK is a British humorous fantasy/humorous horror author.


His fantasy titles include the Amazons series:

  1) Slave-Girls and Amazons

  2) Cave-Trolls and Amazons

  3) The Halfshaft Games

  4) Warlocks and Amazons (due for publication on 28th June 2015)

  5) The Wizard and the Amazon (due for publication in December 2015)


  His horror titles include

  1) The Wedding Feast

  2) Tethered

  3) The Last of the Neanderthals

  4) The Craving

  5) Defunct {Memoirs of a Gentleman Zombie} 




DEFUNCT {Memoirs of a Gentleman Zombie}

George is a bewildered zombie.

He "wakes" to find himself in a battened-down coffin. He isn't sure he likes it very much.

These are the unintentionally humorous memoirs of a befuddled old man, who returns to this world as a zombie after his soul dithered too long over his body in the operating theatre in which he died. Incarcerated in a Dover detention centre for the recently resurrected, he strikes up unlikely friendships with two twenty-somethings and an elderly woman whom he knows only as "The Queen". Together, they set off on a journey across Kent in a bid to rediscover their humanity.


Two female serial killers, the best of friends until Kate falls in love with one of their intended victims. But the stronger her feelings for him, the more her jealous friend wants him dead. And all the while, her craving for blood grows stronger, making it ever more difficult for her to keep him alive.


The Games have commenced. A contest of strength, of courage, of the sheer will to survive, all for the amusement of the bloodthirsty masses at home. And only two people will make it out of the brooding forest alive.

As a brutal troll pursues a brace of dwarfs, and the Queen of the Amazons hunts down elves and witches, Halfshaft the befuddled wizard runs for his life. His only companion is Cherry, his self-obsessed, bikini-clad team-mate. Together, they attempt to survive against everything the Games can throw at them. And to resist the urge to throttle each other in the meantime.

Please note that this book contains humour which is unsuitable for children.




When the Hedral Watcher was in need of a warrior to defeat an all-powerful warlock, he knew that Thane - a lethal intergalactic mercenary - was just the man for the job. Unfortunately, he ended up with an amiable drunk, an inept wizard with an inferiority complex, and a blonde Amazon in a tiny squirrel-skin bikini.

As the omniscient being of the planet, the Hedral Watcher had a funny feeling that it would all end in tears unless Thane was able to vanquish the Warlock before his woefully inadequate substitutes stumbled upon their target. But the band of fearless Warlock hunters had other ideas. After all, how hard could it be defeat a one thousand year old shape-shifting Warlock and his army of battle-hardened troll-corpses?

This is the story of their trials and tribulations, as they romp through a Tolkienesque landscape peopled by the Weird and Wonderful, such as witches seeking men to ride for the donkey-derby; a psychotic forester with a skeletal wife and a sinister fascination in wood-work; a band of trolls on the lookout for virgins to sacrifice to celebrate Thursdays; and more skimpily dressed Amazons than you could shake a spear at.....

Laugh-out-loud fantasy, which first made the Top 10 in the Contemporary Fantasy bestsellers rankings in June 2012.




Philip awakes, naked and chained to the floor, in the ramshackle dwelling of a family of murderous inbreds. His only hope of rescue lies with Matilda, their hideously deformed and needy daughter, who lurks in the darkness in a bloodied wedding dress. But will the price she demands for his release be too high for either of them to pay? And will either her grotesque parents or his insanely jealous girlfriend allow them to make it to the altar alive?

This novel is a black comedy about unrequited love, the dilemma of choosing between a sexy but shallow blonde and a besotted troll, and the ordeals one man faces when his potential in-laws are Hell-bent on eating him.

TETHERED (the sequel to "The Wedding Feast").

"Tethered" is presently only available on "Amazon", but will be published on other sites later this year.

Abigail awakes, naked and vulnerable, in pitch darkness. Her wrists and ankles have been manacled to the floor. One by one, her brutal, troll-like captors come to visit her. Time is short. No-one else can rescue her. But can she save herself?

Elsewhere, three friends spring a young woman from her cage at an animal experimentation centre. Can they stay one step ahead of the government agent who is determined to recapture her, whatever the risk? And was it wise for them to leave her alone in a 1980's caravan whilst they went off for tea and biscuits with two distinctly dubious pensioners?




Two armies square up across the Forest battlefield; trolls and wizards on the one side, witches and Amazons on the other. Both have their very own captive Watcher in tow for good measure. No-one realises that it has been pre-ordained that each and every one of them will die before the battle has run its course.

Only a handful of people stand between them and oblivion, but each of them has problems of their own.

Halfshaft, a failed wizard, is trapped in the Underworld, ensnared by an amorous blood-sucking succubus, with her jealous and insecure incubus-husband looking on.

Takina, a blonde Amazon in the tiniest of fur bikinis, has been abducted by trollesses and set to work at a desert sex-slave market. But she is not about to take this lying down.

Rod, whose dearest wish is to get back down the pub before last orders, has been co-opted on to a small but select band of witches' donkeys, at least until something better comes along.

"Cave-Trolls and Amazons" is a colourful and imaginative quest-fantasy romp, stuffed full with bawdy British humour. Sheer unbridled escapism from the author of "Slave-Girls and Amazons".



The third and final book in "The Wedding Feast" humorous horror series. (Also available elsewhere on Amazon as part of a 3 volume box-set, "The Wedding Feast Trilogy").

Matilda has spent the last ten years in the woods, foraging for anyone foolish enough to venture into the brooding trees. But her Family has finally summoned her home. Tired of hiding from the Outsiders in the darkness, they are fighting back, and have chosen as their battleground the pubs and sex-shops of the sea-side town of Margate.

With Georgia in pursuit, and frisky pensioners Maurice and Elsie following along behind as fast as their articifial hips will allow, Matilda takes to the battele-scarred streets of Thanet in a desperate attempt to save her people from extermination.

But, as usual, nothing goes quite according to plan....




All 3 books of the Wedding Feast Trilogy (The Wedding Feast/Tethered/The Last of the Neanderthals) have now been published as a boxset.